When we moved to our new home my husband and I made a decision not to bring things we would not need. We agreed not to rent a storage unit to hold an overflow of possessions. I read the book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and even tried to look at each object as I was packing and decide if it was something that brought me joy. This meant that the large tapestry I bought in Belgium and hauled all over Europe on a trip with my daughter made the move and now hangs on a wall I see every day. Seeing it brings a smile to my face as I remember the fun the two of us had traveling together. Antique furniture that has been in my family for hundreds of years was also carefully loaded into the moving van and brought to our new home.
But the contents of one particular closet did not make the cut. It held “the boot” I had to wear off and on for two years after foot surgery and the crutches that made life so challenging. It held the neck brace and the back brace from previous spinal surgeries and the IV pole the home healthcare nurse used to give me intravenous medications to treat my lupus. None of these items made the move. They did not bring me joy when I needed them and are now only a reminder of the illness that dwells inside my body and the upkeep required to maintain my quality of life. If the lupus and arthritis had been sitting on a shelf in that closet, I can assure you that they would not have made the move either. I did not want to move the chronic illness to our light-filled new home, nor did I want any reminders of it sitting in a closet. Moving allowed me to choose what tangible items we wanted in our new home, but unfortunately it did not allow me to leave lupus behind.
I saw the doctor the other day. My lab work and joints are now indicating that the oral medication I’m taking isn’t keeping up with the disease and it is time for an IV infusion. Remember, the IV pole did not make the move to the new house and I’m happy about that. I’ve found an infusion center that is (once approved) covered by insurance and I will not be receiving the IV medications at home. I know this is silly, but where I receive the infusion is one of the few things I have control over and I don’t want to get the infusion in my new house. Lupus may have snuck in the back door as an uninvited guest, but for as long as possible there will be no permanent reminders sitting in the closets each time I open the doors.
I know this is a mental game I’m playing with myself, but I want this home to be filled with things that make me smile. My husband and dog made the cut, as did the quartz crystal I found while rock hounding with a dear friend in Little Rock, Arkansas. Yep, home is where the heart is and where I surround myself with things that make me happy. Lupus, you tagged along, but I refuse to let you take up space or dull my smile.