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Cindy's Blog

Where Does Time Go?


Recently I came across an old photo someone posted on Facebook of my daughters with their friends and the Easter Bunny. I’m guessing the girl’s ages were around five and seven at the time the picture was taken. Those same adorable faces are now thirty and thirty-three. I’m not a particularly nostalgic person, nor one to wax poetically about the past, but this picture caught me off guard and did give me a moment’s pause. Reflecting, I thought about all the years that have passed since that photo was taken.

img_5180I once read something, based on a poem by Linda Ellis, about living the dash. You know, the dash on a tombstone between the year we are born and the year we die. That dash is all of the moments of our lives boiled down to a short line etched in stone. Now, I believe that there is WAY more to life than can be distilled into a single dash and it is up to each of us to create a life that brings us and others contentment, happiness and moments of joy. I know that there are things in life that we cannot control (like my lupus) and there are moments that are heartbreaking and so very, very difficult to understand from our human perspective, but these have a way of making the good seem so much better. Because I have lupus, I do not take things for granted as much as I did prior to the diagnosis. I know that when I’ve been sick for a while and I walk outside, the sun seems to shine brighter, the sky looks bluer and a cool breeze (which means 75 degrees in Tampa) brings a smile to my face. Before days of ill health, I may not have noticed these things nor stopped a moment to enjoy them. And I don’t know if it is because the dash means we are creeping closer to the end date, or because we may have more time on a regular basis to simply notice more, but a benefit of aging can be a deeper appreciation for some of life’s more mundane things. Perhaps this is the wisdom of growing older? Regardless, there seems to be more brightness in life following darkness as we age.

I love Erma Bombeck and her poem, If I Had My Life to Live Over. The last verse is my favorite:

There would have been more I love yous … more I’m sorrys … more I’m listenings … but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute back until there was nothing left of it.”

That verse represents the spirit with which I want to live my dash. This may seem odd to you, but there is an element of having lupus that I am grateful for; certainly not all of the hardship and stress it has caused our family, but for the lessons it taught me early about prioritizing the important things in life. Nothing like life challenging and life-threatening illness to help you get your priorities straight!

So, as I look at the old photo with the smiling little faces of my once-young daughters on Facebook, I think about the dash as I’ve lived it thus far, I remind myself once again how precious life is and just how important it is to prioritize the things that add meaning to my life and those around me that I love. The dash is simply too short to waste time on the petty things!






  1. How we live our lives really is determined by how we figure out and set our priorities, and this can be harder than one would imagine. Life in the 21st Century can move at such a rapid pace, simply creating or finding opportunities to make the mental and physical space to slow down and consider what it truly important to us can be difficult. I don’t want to wake up at 90 (if I’m lucky enough to live that long!) and look back with regret at my own “dash.” Really enjoyed this post Cindy.

    • So happy you enjoyed the post! It is hard to slow down in today’s world! hugs, cindy

  2. Another thought provoking post Cindy. Research backs up what you say. It has shown that the more we strengthen our nerve pathways by practicing living in the moment (being mindful of the dash), we change our brains. Over time, being fully present or mindful or “in the now” becomes less daunting as we strengthen those neural connections. The benefits can be huge; better mental, emotional and physical health, and more – as you say – happYness! Love your posts. Keep writing!

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